We were devastated to recently find out that our wonderful kitty, and loving companion Covfefe, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Feline Windmill Cancer. We had no idea that cats were susceptible to this debilitating disease as well. We have tried using the prescribed remedy in these types of scenarios of Thoughts and Prayers on him, but to no avail, he still suffers as it has made NO impact on the situation (which is surprising, as it usually works 100% of the time on all other things). So to our friends, family, and kind strangers, we ask that you stop sending them, and in lieu of that, we are requesting formal donations now in order to pursue alternative treatment and prevention methods.
As in human cases of Wind Noise Cancer (those few not cured by the always effective thoughts and prayers as mentioned above), a regimen of daily earplug use is generally the next best thing to employ as a noise cancer preventer. However, these are not made to fit the feline ear canal, so we must resort to a creating custom-molded kitty inner-earplugs. As you can imagine, this is quite expensive! Furthermore, this illness is not covered under the Affordable Care Act (damn you Obama!) Thus, we are formally asking for the help of generous donations from the community.